A change is gonna come.

I had a pretty productive weekend(: awesome Fridays as usual.


A few post back, I mentioned about competitions. This topic was brought up again when I was out with Maya and gang on Friday. Is it really part of our human nature to be this competitive? When will we ever be contented with what we have?

The feeling of being the best or being better than others is that all we look forward to in life? Is competition the only thing that drives us to perform?
Take for example, I am competing with my classmates for the best results so sometimes I feel that I must not tell my classmates certain techniques in photography as I would lose my edge on them. I hate it when they ask me certain terms or techniques as I fear that they might be better than me if they found out. I would feel jealous or frustrated that they are doing so well and I tell myself I must be better than them. I strive to produce better works than them so that I am at 'the top.'

Honestly speaking I had been struggling and thinking a lot recently. The fire walk festival shoot not my very best as I probably only have 13 usable images from the entire shoot. I recently shot with my classmate for my personal project and I actually thought I should not have invited her along and that I should not tell anyone about the plans I have as they might be better than me. Was I wrong?
I know for a fact that I used to be bloody arrogant as I was capable of doing and handling things far beyond my age. I was overconfident and probably pretty bratty. I used people and pulled them down in order to be the best.
Would the world be a better place if there were no competitions and that everyone was just good at what they do? There would probably be a lot less stress as everyone just does their own thing without a care for the other.

That as suggested by J, I disagree.
For starters, the world would be really boring as everyone just does what they are good at. Everyone would live in their comfort zone and no one would bother to produce 'the best' as everyone is equal.
Competition brings about war as countries wants to let others know who is boss but competition creates people like Bill Gates who changed our lives forever with his softwares. Without competition, there would probably be hundreds of different Microsoft version and every one of them has the same functions and features.
There was a saying that god created the world because he wanted more stories and without competitions, there certainly would not be any stories to tell.

I think I sound like a selfish brat when I have such thoughts but thing is, I am only human. Which is why I really respect people like M who says stuff like 'if a person is better than me, great! I feel happy for him.'
To be able to have that kind of view on life is really tough because everyone wants to be the best. At some point of time, we would probably be comparing whose name can be found on google and who just burnt their fingers and was declared bankrupt.

In the end, as much as we strive to be perfect, we are all humans. Competitions drives us to be and produce the best we can but it also brings out our inner demons and character. Competitions are here to stay but I choose to believe in the human heart. We know our limits and when to draw the line.
I know I can do it.

Well that was a load off my mind. For those whom I know will ask, the details are in my Alice diary. Sorry if I disappointed any of you guys. I am only human and I am not perfect but rest assured as I know when to draw the line.

Shoot with the IFC choir this Tuesday and they are actually giving me a space to put up my works during the concert 8D

An event shoot this Thursday and this is the first time that I am being paid so much for a one and a half hour shoot!!! Like really really high as compared to the market rate. Don't get me started on the events whereby I shoot for four hours and spend half a day editing for a mere 50SGD.
I think I would be shooting alone so hell yea I am bloody nervous as the pay is pretty high and I do not want to ruin M's reputation >.>

Come Sunday, TKT planned a party for me so yessu I am excited 8D I predict wine. Lots of it!

Cropped image.

Tag replies:

Kino: Haha its my 18th birthday! The day I am finally of legal age to drink. Of course it must be a public holiday! Come 21 there would be a festival for me 8D


JKT) Eh you are going back during CNY??? For how long?
My birthday wish list is nothing expensive. Just a Leica M9 with the 35mm lens which will probably only cost you some 15K. And it is in SGD and not USD! How lovely 8D