Let it all end.

I will be strong. I will be fine. Let it all pass. Painlessly.

Is that too much to ask?

Breakfast-ed and semi lunched with JKT today. 

Woman. 

Lunch means 2-3pm. Not leave by 1pm!!!!!

Anyways, I bought a new mattress today:3 money fly fly

It will arrive this Wednesday so I just have to bear with it for a few more days!!!! 

Thanks to this, I have half a mind of selling Chiriko. someone please stop me D8

My back is killing me T_T 

It is killing my weekends too as I can't move around and all I can do it to sit, stand and lie down while complaining about the pain accompanied with classical music on the bose system much to my mum's annoyance.

I am getting pretty worried. Screw that thought. I am worried.

This morning, I tried to carry a chair. Well, perhaps the word to use should not be carry as all I was trying to do was to push it into the table. So it should be phrased as I tried to lift a chair this morning.

Just a simple chair made probably from wood with a coat of paint and a cushion. It could not have weighed more than 5kg? I managed this 'giganormous' feat of lifting the damm chair some 15cm off the ground while my back screamed in agony as if I am carrying a 300kg chair for about 10 seconds.

Thing is, this is just a stupid chair. How on earth am I going to manage my bags, gears or even my girls? I mean every single plan I have in my mind just happily evaporated away as my back cannot take the pressure.

I asked. How how will it take for me to recover. I was answered: If you are lucky, 1 week. If not, months. Perhaps the unspoken word 'years' might have even passed his mind. 

I am trying my best to be pathetically optimistic about this. For once, my acting skills are failing me. I am NOT fine. I am pathetically weak and 'time' is taking her own sweet time as usual.

I know the drill. Thoughts become things. Choose the good ones. But I can't see anything good about a twisted spine and a dislocated pelvic bone. 

Would you call my name? :(

I am so screwed.